2 AM Saturday 17 Sep 2022 Cork City
This might be the bad pizza I had earlier talking (BOOM Jerry Maguire reference!),but This year marks ten years since I graduated and I find myself thinking about this question, Should i retire, move to Peru, change my name to Javier, grow a ponytail, start Alpaca farm and never touch a computer never again? Probably Not. I could pull off a ponytail though.
The answer is no because i love being an engineer. That’s who I am. I love creating new things or breaking old ones to make them better. For me a job was a way to do just that(and pay the rent of course!). That said, at this point, I need more than that from a job. I need to know I am making some kind of impact. If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?. Basically, I need to know I was successful but how can anyone define success. Is it money, authority, experience, Know-how, legacy? who knows?
The fact is I was lucky to work in an interesting industry with super smart people (way smarter than me), I got to travel a bit for work, Represent my team in front of customers, executives and dozens of industry experts. I worked with super smart nice hardworking people, whom I am still friend with. I got the chance to interview, hire and train many great engineers(even though i was never a manager) who ended up in companies all over the world and that’s something I am proud of.
It wasn’t not all roses. It can’t be. I did quit academia after one year because I couldn’t accept the toxic environment(maybe more in separate post). After that I moved to industry, and it’s not ia secret that we are in stressful and competitive industry. There is always a new project, a new technology, new language, new standard, new everything. And of course endless stream of deadlines. Did it have a toll on me? yes, Do i regret it? sometimes. Honestly, A long sabbatical doesn’t sound like a bad idea right now. or does it?
Anyway, To answer the real question here “Now, What?”. No idea. Meanwhile, I will keep doing what i always did. “Just keep swimming.”..That’s another finding nemo reference BTW :)